Monthly Archives: June 2009

Anthony Bourdain was right…

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Being around meat all day makes people CRAZY!  It was like Open Mike Night during sausage day…

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I Have the Luckiest Car in the County.

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This placard should read:  The return of the swallows is an annual annoyance to all car owners here at Greystone.  The birds will go to the bathroom on your car no matter what corner of the parking lot you try to hide.  Sometime in July, I will rejoice when the birds leave to join their loose boweled friends.  Greystone will pay for the weekly car washes necessary to avoid being embarrassed by driving around in a bombed out car.

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Last Night, I Dreamt About Meat.

IMG_0043So, we are almost done with our Meat Fabrication(Meat Fab) class…2 more days. We have massacred everything from chicken to veal and swine. Tomorrow we hit up lamb,and Tuesday, Charcuterie(yum) and then on to Seafood Fab. Butchering meat is like solving a puzzle, trying to follow fat trails to unearth a tenderloin, or possibly some ribs. During veal day it was really quiet, and I heard one of my classmates yelling at his meat, “Where the f@#! am I?” I know what he means. One minute you’re knifing out a tenderloin, and then you follow a fat trail too far, and you end up around a picnic shoulder…or something…I need to study some more.

IMG_0045My arms are sore in places I am not familiar with, and I have a newfound respect for pro butchers…and I think that’s kind of the point. Our Chef instructor is from Texas, and the irony is definitely not lost on me. Part of our homework is to watch various videos housed on the CIA Intralearn web portal, and he had ants in his pants the next morning waiting to ask us if we watched the one where the farmer blows the head off a baby cow with a pistol. It’s a PETA horror flick. Chef Tucker loved it.

Aside from finding a niche of Baby cow snuff films, I also learned that pigs are super smart animals…and very emotional. If they get stressed out, they get something called “Boar Taint” and their meat becomes inedible. We have been playing a game with food phrases and turning them into band names. I am in “The Nightshades” (look it up) and my friend Jason came up behind me last week and said in my ear, “My band’s name is Boar Taint.” Sounds like the kind of band that might play on the Strip. IMG_0046He’s the one that likes to swear at meat. Oh, and that’s ALSO him sawing the leg of veal with Jay…the one holding the towels with a super intense stare. Who can blame him? Lack of sleep+too much meat+WAY too much coffee= grown people acting crazy. See you next week in the ocean!

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Tapas…not topless(Larry).

It’s the end of another extremely short weekend and from now on I have to be at school at 6:30 a.m.  That means alot of early mornings, and no more horseplay at Anna’s, drinking beers and singing karaoke (I just judge others, I don’t wish my Whitney Houston on anyone).  The reason for this pre-dawn nonsense is that from now on we are going to be in the kitchen.  I am really excited…I was growing tired of staring at a dry erase board all day long.

My Little Show Pony So, here’s the tapas that I have been thinking about preparing for the last 3 weeks for a competition at school.  I finally put the dish together on Friday for my husband.  He was not psyched about eating two shrimp for dinner, but he WILL be happy if I win the thing.  The winner gets to go to Spain…all expense paid…to represent the CIA in a tapas extravaganza.  I have not sized up any of the comeptition, but when I nosed around our campus, no one was even aware that it exsisted.  Hopefully the Hyde Park Trustafarians are too busy killing brain cells in the City to notice.  Crossies.

It’s been a busy week of celebrity chef sighting (if you count Stefan and Blaze) at good ol’ CIA Greystone. The Valley’s prodigal son Thomas Keller graced the gift shop with his presence , signing his heavy and expensive cookbooks and just being generally fabulous.  I had one of his blueberry-cream cheese filled jammers  at Bouchon last Sunday and I’ll have to say it was dee-li-cious.  That man can certainly sell a $3 donut without a smidgen of same.  Well played, Keller, well played

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