So, we are almost done with our Meat Fabrication(Meat Fab) class…2 more days. We have massacred everything from chicken to veal and swine. Tomorrow we hit up lamb,and Tuesday, Charcuterie(yum) and then on to Seafood Fab. Butchering meat is like solving a puzzle, trying to follow fat trails to unearth a tenderloin, or possibly some ribs. During veal day it was really quiet, and I heard one of my classmates yelling at his meat, “Where the f@#! am I?” I know what he means. One minute you’re knifing out a tenderloin, and then you follow a fat trail too far, and you end up around a picnic shoulder…or something…I need to study some more.
My arms are sore in places I am not familiar with, and I have a newfound respect for pro butchers…and I think that’s kind of the point. Our Chef instructor is from Texas, and the irony is definitely not lost on me. Part of our homework is to watch various videos housed on the CIA Intralearn web portal, and he had ants in his pants the next morning waiting to ask us if we watched the one where the farmer blows the head off a baby cow with a pistol. It’s a PETA horror flick. Chef Tucker loved it.
Aside from finding a niche of Baby cow snuff films, I also learned that pigs are super smart animals…and very emotional. If they get stressed out, they get something called “Boar Taint” and their meat becomes inedible. We have been playing a game with food phrases and turning them into band names. I am in “The Nightshades” (look it up) and my friend Jason came up behind me last week and said in my ear, “My band’s name is Boar Taint.” Sounds like the kind of band that might play on the Strip. He’s the one that likes to swear at meat. Oh, and that’s ALSO him sawing the leg of veal with Jay…the one holding the towels with a super intense stare. Who can blame him? Lack of sleep+too much meat+WAY too much coffee= grown people acting crazy. See you next week in the ocean!